Statuses for Facebook

Smart boss + smart employee = profit Smart boss + dumb employee = production Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

Closing all the internet windows by the time your boss gets to your desk is like frantically getting the keys into the door before the killer gets you.

If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.

Closing all the internet windows by the time your boss gets to your desk is like getting the keys into the door before the killer gets you.

My boss told me to start the presentation with a joke,so I showed my payslip.

Getting a text as soon as you pick up your phone and feeling like a boss.

That like a boss moment when you drop something but catch it before it hits the ground.

Guessing the time correctly and feeling like a boss.

When I have children, I'm gonna make them watch the movie 2012.. And tell them I survived that like a boss...

Boss: ''I'll give you $8 an hour starting now and in 3 months I'll raise it to $10 an hour. When can you start?'' Me: ''In 3 months.''

Buy a ship. Name it relation. Sit in it. You are in a relationship. Like A Boss

That awesome moment when you say something funny and everyone laughs, so you just sit there like a boss

Ignoring somebody’s text and then posting a status on Twitter on purpose.... Like A Boss

My Boss asked me to start the Presentation with a Joke; I attached my Salary Payslip on the 1st Slide..

If my boss knew how unproductive I am on Fridays, he wouldn't want me here either.