Statuses for Facebook

In 20-30 years, one of the hardest things our kids will have to do will be finding a screen name that hasn’t already been taken.

Monsters University (Monsters Inc. 2) is coming out in 2013. ''Get out of my way kids, I've been waiting 10 years for this day.''

Happy Birthday even though I tried to kill you all those times when we were kids.

Two most honest people in this world, drunk people and little kids…

Easter egg hiding tip, most kids aren’t allowed on the roof.

A grandmother is a babysitter who watches the kids instead of the television.

I like kids, but I dont think I could eat a whole one.

The hardest job facing kids today is to learn good manners without seeing any.

I have been hit hard with the “Your kids will turn out just like you” curse.

When your kids grow up they will realize that when you said no, you were saying I love you.

Not many people can drive me as CRAZY as my kids, But NOBODY can make me as happy as my kids

I’m not a violent person, but mess with my kids and I will become one.

Funny how some people call themselves parents yet,,they never seem to have their kids.

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.

Thinks their kids forgot the name “daddy” because all they hears is “mommy, mommy, mommy”.