Statuses for Facebook

-Newton 3 scientific sex law. -1. A hole always attract a pole -2. Length of pole is equal to d depth of hole. -3. Up down motion releases a lotion which increase population without calculation.

The biggest flaw of iPhone 5 is how much thicker, slower, and less compelling it is compared to iPhone 6.

When your flaws are stitched together with good intentions, your flaws make you beautiful.

The way to find the real boss is to find out who hires the lawyers.

We are very good lawyers for our own mistakes, but very good judges for the mistakes of others.

I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions. Secret of life is to be honestly who you are, not being a passenger in YOUR life.

Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.

The difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.

The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced. ~ Frank Zappa

Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I dunno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me-- no, don't sue me. That is opposite the point I'm trying to make. ~ The Office

I enjoy a glass of Wine each night for it's health benefits! The rest of the bottle is for my flawless dance moves, and to make you look more appealling!

My neighbors complained that I never mow my lawn. So I started mowing. The cops showed up at 3 a.m.. These neighbors are never happy...

I'd like to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with all of you, but I'm afraid they'll be used against me in a court of law someday.

The great thing about snow is it makes your lawn look as good as your neighbors.

If you rearrange the letters in “Mother-in-law”, you get “Woman Hitler” Coincidence? I think not.