Statuses for Facebook

I'm the opposite of psychic. I don't even know what I'm thinking! ;)

I wish I could google "things to eat in my fridge" so I wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed. ;)

But what if bygones want to be something else? ;)

I wish pillsbury would think of another way to open biscuits without giving you a heart attack ;)

I'm changing my voicemail greeting to: Please hang up and text me, thanks. ;)

I'd say that most of my mistakes can be traced back to when I decided to get out of bed. ... just sayin! ;)

Roses are red , violets are blue , I got five fingers and the 3rd one for you ;)

I remember 2011 like it was yesterday. ;)

Guess what I saw today ... Everything I looked at. ;)

Sometimes my mind wanders, other times it leaves completly. ;)

To save time, lets just assume I am never wrong ;)

When in Rome get naked ;)

Smile, it confuses people. ;)

Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings.. ;)

When your feeling down, I will be there to feel you up. ;)