Statuses for Facebook

You know when dogs sticks their heads out of a moving car window, bite at the air and it looks like fun? I tried it. It is.

People with pierced nipples have no excuse for losing their car keys.

My car said "low on fuel"..I replied "low on cash"..I'm still waiting for a reply..

That mini heart attack you get when the parked car next to you moves and you think you

If gas prices keep going up I'm cutting off the bottom of my car and I'm "Flintstoning" That mf!

A computer losing its internet access is the equivalent of a car running out of gas, both become useless.

I wouldn't consider myself someone that litters but I do turn on my windshield wipers while im driving down the road to get rid of that useless flyer some idiot put on my car when I quickly run into the store.

Online dating is like shopping for a car online... show me the carfax!! I wanna see the history!

My New Year's resolution is to stop pointing my car alarm remote at my apartment front door expecting to unlock it

Ask.com is useless............they have no idea where I put my car keys either

When I go through an automated car wash I close my eyes, because it's easier to pretend I'm in a car that way. 

I drank an energy drink so if anyone needs help packing, pushing your car to a gas station or shaking the leaves off a tree

I need u to do me a favor... Stand in front of my car please... I need to test my brakes :)

We should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning.

I hate when the cops throw me in the back of the squad car like they didn