Statuses for Facebook

Growing up as a child, My mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out the police call this ”Identity Theft”.

''THIS IS THE POLICE! OPEN UP!'' ''Well, not with that attitude.''

Dear police officer,I'm sorry my cats set off the motion detector... again.Sincerely, girl at the top of the stairs holding a plastic sword.

The police want to interview me. Strange, I didn't even apply for a job.

Police: ''Where do you live?'' Me: ''With my brother.'' Police: ''Where does your brother live?'' Me: ''With me.''

Trying not to act suspicious when passing police even though your innocent...

The Worst Feeling: Seeing a police car make a u-turn behind you.

Women are like police , they can have all the evidence in the world but they still want a confession.

Police operator: ''9-1-1 please hold.'' Me: ''Okay. Wait, stop stabbing me for a sec.'' Murderer: ''K.''

Police: ''You were going fast.'' Me: ''I was trying to keep up with traffic.'' Police: ''There isn't any.'' Me: I know! That's how far behind I am

Police: ''What's your emergency?'' Me: ''2 girls are fighting over me!'' Police: ''So what's the problem sir?'' Me: ''The ugly one is winning!''

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police, what does it say about the real world?

Women are like the police... They can have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession.

Girls are like police. Even when they get a hold of all the evidence, they still want to hear the truth from you...

I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. “Alright, get in the basket.