Statuses for Facebook

Teacher: Who can explain gender discrimination with an example? Student: Women can sleep with whoever they want ,men have to sleep with whoever lets them!

Dear homework, you are unattractive, there for, I cannot do you.

Dear Teacher. Please stop make us sleepy, we have no bed in class. Sincerely, students.

An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is nothing."

If one teacher cannot teach every subject, then how come one student is expected to learn all the subjects.

So what if Jesus turned water into wine... I turned a whole student loan into beer once. your move Jesus.

Liked homework better when it was called coloring.

On the first day of school, I tell all my students to rip up their textbooks ..then I leave before their REAL teacher arrives.

Dear Teachers, if THIS was allowed in schools, we would love school. Sincerely all students: Check out my last status...

Dear Teachers, Please consider my last status! Sincerely, Students!

My school supplies? 1) Cell phone. 2) Headphones. 3) iPod. 4) Snacks. 5) Homework that I copied. 6) Money.

Teacher: Where is your homework?, Student: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren't the best teacher in school.

That amazing moment when you find the EXACT answers to your homework on Google.

Dear Teachers and Parents, If THIS was allowed in school, we would love school. Sincerely, All Students: Check out my last status...

Put a ''student driver'' sign on top of your car, and nobody will suspect you of drunk driving.