Statuses for Facebook

I love your hair. ''aww thank you!, I grew it myself!''

Oh, excuse me Mr Swagger, either walk a little faster or buy a belt. Thank you, homie.

Thank you to every person who has ever told me I can't. You are just another reason I will.

That funny moment when your ex tries to talk to you again and you're all like.... um no thank you

Dear Parents, Thank you so much for giving me such a weird name. Sincerely, my name is never on those customized keychains.

Thank you for coming into my world, i hope someday it could be our world.

Dear hoodies, thank you for always being there for me. Sincerely, I'm sexy and I know it, I'm just way too tired to show it.

Never cry for the person who hurts you. Just smile and say Thank you for giving me a chance to FIND someone BETTER than you.

Thank you for the good times, The days you filled with pleasure. Thank you for fond memories, And for feelings I'll always treasure.

Thank you ignoring my text, It's not like I wanted to talk to you or anything.

Cops never say ''Thank you for comitting a crime and keeping us employed'', selfish bastards

Me: ''Do you need help with the dishes?'' Mom: ''Oh no thank you.'' *10 minutes later* Mom: ''I swear I get no help around this house!''

If you're happy and you know it, thank your ex!

Thank you for teaching me to be strong enough to leave you in my past.

Dear Twitter, thank you for being there whenever I'm bored.